calling all real estate gods.

move, don't move. move, don't move. move, don't move..

questions to be asked:
price?
location?
major intersection?
subway station?
parking?
security?
square footage?
floor level?
hardwood floors?
has it been lived in before?
has somebody died/gotten shot in here? (sounds crazy, but everyone asks)
in-suite laundry?
non-smoking building?
lease conditions?
age of building?
is it "christine clean"?

there are so many things that go into finding an apartment to rent. who knows if it's worth moving from uptown to downtown. couldn't there just be a store where they say, "this is the perfect place for you!" and it has all the things i'm looking for, it's beautiful, and is a reasonable price! in a dream world...

real-estate gods, please help me!
xo